There's More to it Than Meets the Eye

I am sure no one will argue...I am a dork. I love dorky things, past and present. One of those things is the Transformers. I grew up on those robots that transformed into everyday things, like cars, guns, and cassette players. They were quite possibly the most awesome thing back then. Now that I am grown, they are coming back, being made into a movie using some of the most incredible technology Hollywood has. Needless to say, I am quite stoked - I am foaming at the mouth, aching to go rushing to the theater to be sure I am there to see something I thought only my dreams could create - a live action Transformers movie.

As excited as I am, I am strangely sad about the whole thing. When we grow up on something, and it is ingrained as a part of our past, we want to see it in its former glory; we want to see it as we remember, only better. That is what I thought this would be - the Transformers of my childhood, only better. However, I was stunned when I saw the first trailer that featured Bumblebee. Everybody's favorite friendly little Transformer, Bumblebee was a VW Beetle. Therefore, I was incredibly shocked to watch the trailer and see that, in the movie, he is a Camaro. "Seriously!?!?!?!?" Why couldn't he be a VW Bug? I mean, his name is Bumblebee; it is only right for him to be a bug...what about Camaro says "hi, I'm Bumblebee"??

At this point, I was wondering if that was the only inconsistency. Are the other transformers the same things they were in the past? Have they all changed? Are these even the same characters? I looked into it further as more info about the movie was released and found that, yes, they were the same familiar characters - Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Jazz, Ratchet, and Ironhide, but only Optimus appeared to be the semi truck he was originally (although he is now a blue truck with red flames).

Further analysis reveals the true reason for the change - there is a contract with General Motors. So that GM can get in their advertising, all our favorite Autobots have been changed - Bumblebee is a Camara rather than a VW Bug, Jazz is a Pontiac Solstice rather than a Porshe, Ratchet is a Hummer H2 and Ironhide is a GMC Topkick rather than the Nissan Vanettes they used to be. Are they trying to ruin the Transformers? Seriously - Porshe vs. Pontiac - you tell me which is cooler. I can understand them trying to use more "current" vehicles, but they could have at least tried to use the same vehicles, if only newer (I can understand not trying to replicate the Vanettes, but could have found something much closer).

On top of that, they had to go and mess with the paintjobs. The whole reason the Autobots are automobiles is that the automobile forms were a disguise. What about a blue semi truck with red flames serves as a disguise??? Even farther off course, Ratchet was originally white and Ironhide was originally red; now Ratchet is yellow and Ironhide is Black. How hard would it have been to use a white Hummer and a red truck? Well, at least Peter Cullen still voices Optimus Prime.

I am torn about seeing the movie, although I am sure I will do so. Transformers are simply too much a part of my past to not go see this. I just hope they got the personalities right...it will be all wrong if Starscream doesn't try to undermine Megatron.

Peace,
Alphadork

Are You Drunk?

Really quick...to get this off my mind. I would guess you've probably seen the Dept. of Transportation's recent PSAs the depict someone really really drunk doing something goofy, like the girl dancing with a bottle of beer in her hand that knocks her own front teeth out. It then says something to the effect of "It's really easy to tell when you've had way too much to drink..." It then shows what I assume to be the friend of those individuals preparing to leave and taking one more swig of their beer and the voice-over says something like "...but what if you've only had one too many...? Buzzed driving IS drunk driving." Good message, really. There are a lot of people who, sadly, don't realize this. This is a step in the right direction, in my opinion, because prior to this, it seemed that drunk drivers were always depicted as really obviously drunk individuals.

My question about this one is: the "buzzed" individual who has had only one too many usually seems to be depicted as someone who still has a slight stagger; someone moving in a way that would indicate they are feeling, at the very least, a good strong buzz. So, what about the person had a couple, along with some food and maybe a little water, but has not felt a buzz...how can they be sure whether or not they are Ok? I know, the answer is that, if there is any question at all, they should simply get another ride, but you know that not everyone will do that, and I can still wonder...

Peace,
Alphadork

Double Standards and Dog Crap

Ok, so I had some sort of rant in my head, but cannot seem to remember what it was about...anyway...

I decided this morning to take my dog for an actual walk around the block instead of just out to the grass (she's a small dog, so she doesn't need as much exercise - chasing a squeaky toy up and down the hallway a couple times is enough to wear her out). Anyway, we're trucking along, about halfway around the block, when she stops, right in the middle of the road, and drops a deuce. My dog certainly does not discriminate when it comes to where she poops.

I think I've remembered one of the rants...it's something that my wife has pointed out a number of times in the past, but has really been standing out to me recently. Have you ever paid attention to the double standard for genders on TV and film? It is rare (and usually a supporting character) if women are not slim and pretty. Men, however, can be anything and are, more often that I like, rather ugly. The Axe commercials are especially bad, depicting gorgeous women as unable to resist the lure of Axe on a hideous man. Have you ever seen the sitcom "Jim"? That's another one with average, overweight men married to slim, attractive (and younger?) women. When will the average, overweight woman be on TV, happily married to some guy that looks like a Desperate Housewives gardener?

Ha! Now, every time you watch TV, it's going to bother you too!

Peace,
Alphadork